Are you with me?

I finally figured out why I believe in the Greek gods. It's supposed to be because of the at the exact time that I first saw Age of Mythologies (and had a small crush on the game but couldn't show my love because my brother kept playing it never letting me play), I started reading Percy Jackson the Titan's curse, the series being something I followed from then, till now (the reason for which I will later type), which I have followed for a long time. Soon my father found this old Britannica encyclopedia, where I started getting obsessed over the Greek guys. I began to have dreams about weird stuff and they all started coming true. I knew later that it was called deja-vu but I had already put a God responsible for what happened to me.
Placebo effect on my brain at a young age, caused this shit and puts me in doubt about everything nowadays. I also wished on 2 shooting stars and they came true. One was a Skateboard, and the other was weird.
I wished for everything I believed to be true to NOT COME TRUE, because I thought god didn't help greedy people but only smart people, so I thought I could satisfy my needs with a power I control. Now I believe placebo effect causes a change in destiny because, ever since I found out about placebo even when I believe in something where there is doubt corrupting my mind, the polar opposite happens. But if I am sure about something, the stuff comes to life(like getting a dream), for real...
pun intended.

I just remembered a thing of high incidence on my life and I responded to it.
I thought of the time I spent in Gaurav's house and I used to enjoy teenage hood their and I used to use my phone. Then, while typing the part above, I was playing music through YouTube's tasty network and to first go to YT I typed in m.youtube ctrl + Enter instead of the usual youtube ctrl + Enter. At the time I was typing the above I was enjoying teenage hood, because I enjoy typing this. I felt free. To you know, do what I wanna, say what I wanna say I DON'T CARE.(Get it? ΣminΣm)
This tells me that I remembered a time which was important to me because I cared about it and connected to a physical response to the Universe.

Now about real life. I have this guy in my hostel, Parikshit, sitting next to me and clueless to what I am to type. He causes a lot of ripples to other people's lives, bad ones. This guy has attitude, but hits stuff that don's hit back, like walls, Tanmay and Deepansh. Two peoples who happen to be good friends to me, but did not show there strength at the correct times to cause less or no bullying. Now everybody is all cool, but this guy don't change. Person things that social reputation is everything even though he is dog to druggy guys in here. He also joined a sacrilegious to Christianity, group. Not that bad it's a good way to blow of steam from this life and believe in something in your own way. Even there, he didn't do stuff properly, is what I heard. He belongs to some part clan of the House Lannister(BTW I just changed my hostel's background to Lannister house just before typing this part).
Now he keeps telling me if he could change the past, like he had done wrong, not evil(to those guys, which he doesn't consider).
See people try to change decisions they had made,when they do not realize what they did. Some people don't know where they belong and join anywhere. I understand people think like that and can't change it, but they should atleast know their own faults, right, the wronged ones deserve to know.

I am still confused about Somya, and how her life be if I did break up with her. I used to like how she was as a friend but this dream I had tells me shitloads about how we are going to be. I read another somebodies blog and all it has is problems and celebrations.
And I figured my life has some weird shit going. I am sorry, I promised myself I wouldn't use vulgarities and or be open, to be true but fuck it.
This girl spends almost all day talking to my once best friend,but still friend, taking my spot
on the shotgun seat, even though she is my girlfriend she uhhs me first thing in the morning(maybe cause I ignored her before that), and oooh Shrey (▲) YOu know.. and start a long rant on football.
Between us we never talk about our emotions so I never get to open up. I know I am trying hard to like her, but she used to be my best friend and I want that back. It helped me concentrate when we would discuss things (from both sides of the conversation),  and I just found out she likes watching English football. Even I like it, fuck it I love the game, but who has the time to obsess over some idiots who turn a game into a something based on earning money. They play like monsters in the game,even though we know it's for the money. It's a fucking game assholes.
Off to watch anime.

First time

So I know the name sucks, but it kind of was what I was aiming for.
I'll start with who I am, a sixteen year old, just like more than three-quarters of the internet population. I live in India. And I have a dream just like every other teen in the world. You could say its like the dream Kira from Death note has except without any shinigami helping me. I have got something else entirely.
You see I am under this delusion that a Greek titan spends time in my body along with a Greek god. You could say I am a retard at this but the thing is I have convinced my self that this is true based on things that have happened to me in my short lifespan. And all of it makes sense. I'll tell you all about that later. It's not that important.
I thought I was gonna put a study on human psychology based on the experiences I have had. In fact I have a notebook where I write that stuff down. I might put that up later, but I'll only refer to it once in a while, cause I don't have it right now, and i intended to make a blog on that.
I believe in destiny, (the game looks amazing, not that I played it) and am trying not to rationalize the presence of it in this universe so I can blame something, and usually I get this super duper gut instinct feeling from it that points me in a direction where everything is good. I am all for placebo.
I have been dependent on this thing from as long as I can remember. But, since this blog is about what I do and why I do it, I'll get to it.
I have this seasonal change of behavior I'd like to write about. You see every time I consider something to be a fact it changes in any way, and I'd like to change this.
I tend to change my mind on social interactions every month or so. Sometimes I wanna be alone and sometimes I don't. The lonely periods are usually spent discovering myself. I guess everyone does that right? I, however, find things about myself that I don't enjoy thinking about, which is not that bad cause then I get to change my outlook on things. Then I decide that society isn't half that bad and renew relations with my friends. Since I live in a hostel, my parents don't know whats wrong with their son.
The reasons why I put society as a bad thing is different for every change in my personality, therefore I can't put those reasons up.

This guy I know, Felix, lives in the junior hostel but is senior to me, says that I shouldn't use logic to do things. How am I supposed to do that? Logic is what man is sure is correct, what else can I depend on to do things?
(I swear my English is much better in person, I don't use "do things" all the time)
This destiny thing tells me what to do through dreams usually, even though I use my mind (as my football coach says) I find a way to train my thoughts in the right direction to follow destiny's path.
I mean there are millions of reasons for doing just one thing right?
I wan't to break up with my girlfriend but destiny tells me she will do it herself. By destiny I mean the Greek god (not the titan) living in my body,only in this part. I think the gods have a way of putting their hand in the things that happen to be random in nature to do their bidding. I also believe that the gods are present in everyone in the form of the thoughts we think and it all changes according to the one who needs the gods attention. I don't mean me by that, I have seen them favor someone else too in reality, only place where I have the godly powers are in my dreams, but those dreams affect reality in some way or the other. But I don't mind that.