Everybody hates

Anyone heard "Everybody Talks"? Nice song. Is good. See I got an update on that girl, whatsernam, Somya, she has started reading DeathNote. I think it was cuz I lost contact with her for last month including. Guess she is trying to connect huh? Can't do it, sorry I tried to like her since she was trying (she's gotta get credit, right??), but wtf can I do it right, she's still the same person trying to do something different.

The Greek guys, living in my head sent me a sign, in the form of an anime. It's parasyte- The maxim. It makes sense for what they are like. One wants my survival, the other the good for society. I guess it's two that want my survival, counting me since my social status will respond to offspring, right? That's why, I end up alone because I want a better life for myself, which will focus me towards studying? What happens is that I get cut off from everybody. It's sad actually.

Dushyant, this guy sitting next to me tried to see what I was upto in this blog but I didn't let him see. Don't like it that way I guess. Started watching this anime "Akane-iro ni Somaru Saka". Now it got interesting so I shifted to that.

Dushyant was really shy. This guy had to get someone to talk to first. He just started talking to girls.

Chicks dig him, at least that's what they shout. DUshy was how I typed it the first time(shy guy). The second time I wrote Dushyuant (that's how girls scream his name).

But good shit. He used to listen, be the non-aggressive types. Now he zones out. Not even Tuning Out, he couldn't hear what you said to him two minutes, ago. Guy fucks up sometimes because of this. But good guy. He sure likes pot though. Serious. 

I just felt like going home. I could study better there. I gotta blame parents if this fucks me up again. This is probably gonna become a suicide note.

This reminds me of a crime incident I was almost part of, as a kid.

I was in Connaught Place, a place in Delhi, in clothes shop.it was Sunday, lot of people, thankfully the AC was on. Third class I think. I looked around and the last sight of someone, was my father's jacket. I first checked if that was the only familiar thing in this unfamiliar environment, yup.

Now I'm in a hurry. So I ran after him, and the crowd surrounded me from all four sides. I ran through and found my father. I grabbed on his hand. Turned out it wasn't my dad. Some dude with a similar jacket on. I ran out of the shop and checked the streets and nobody I knew was in Connaught place, fun place dude, but that was ironic cuz of something that happened recently. I found this guy with a black jacket on and told him I couldn't find my parents. He took me to his car once I asked him to help. Black car tinted windows, you no the deal. All normal. Thank you mama for slapping me senseless after you found me there. I think it was motherly instinct that brought her to the other side of the ringed park, 50 metre radius.
Now life still makes me tune off from my environment and that still happens. But shit dnt just end there, get? I am always in the company of people who beg for attention.

I have this blank space in my memory, I can't fill up. Not that I wanna make up memories and put them in place, but I found only one way to explain my powers(not that I am going to tell them to you now, gimme some time).
I apologize for not writing in a long time. The internet in my hostel fucked up, so I have to write from the computer lab, as originally planned. I got rank one in the cyber olympiad in my state btw. fuck yeah. But life is starting to give me the opportunity I need to start using now to achieve my dream. Fucking computer keyboard. I have to hit the keyboard with some pep to get the frigging computer to notice I tapped a key.
I stated watching a new anime Ghost Hound. The manga i was reading, 'sundome', finnished. dark plot dude. but all in al nice story.
I started plaing dota on the hostel computers. One more lifeleach to the group.

Are you with me?

I finally figured out why I believe in the Greek gods. It's supposed to be because of the at the exact time that I first saw Age of Mythologies (and had a small crush on the game but couldn't show my love because my brother kept playing it never letting me play), I started reading Percy Jackson the Titan's curse, the series being something I followed from then, till now (the reason for which I will later type), which I have followed for a long time. Soon my father found this old Britannica encyclopedia, where I started getting obsessed over the Greek guys. I began to have dreams about weird stuff and they all started coming true. I knew later that it was called deja-vu but I had already put a God responsible for what happened to me.
Placebo effect on my brain at a young age, caused this shit and puts me in doubt about everything nowadays. I also wished on 2 shooting stars and they came true. One was a Skateboard, and the other was weird.
I wished for everything I believed to be true to NOT COME TRUE, because I thought god didn't help greedy people but only smart people, so I thought I could satisfy my needs with a power I control. Now I believe placebo effect causes a change in destiny because, ever since I found out about placebo even when I believe in something where there is doubt corrupting my mind, the polar opposite happens. But if I am sure about something, the stuff comes to life(like getting a dream), for real...
pun intended.

I just remembered a thing of high incidence on my life and I responded to it.
I thought of the time I spent in Gaurav's house and I used to enjoy teenage hood their and I used to use my phone. Then, while typing the part above, I was playing music through YouTube's tasty network and to first go to YT I typed in m.youtube ctrl + Enter instead of the usual youtube ctrl + Enter. At the time I was typing the above I was enjoying teenage hood, because I enjoy typing this. I felt free. To you know, do what I wanna, say what I wanna say I DON'T CARE.(Get it? ΣminΣm)
This tells me that I remembered a time which was important to me because I cared about it and connected to a physical response to the Universe.

Now about real life. I have this guy in my hostel, Parikshit, sitting next to me and clueless to what I am to type. He causes a lot of ripples to other people's lives, bad ones. This guy has attitude, but hits stuff that don's hit back, like walls, Tanmay and Deepansh. Two peoples who happen to be good friends to me, but did not show there strength at the correct times to cause less or no bullying. Now everybody is all cool, but this guy don't change. Person things that social reputation is everything even though he is dog to druggy guys in here. He also joined a sacrilegious to Christianity, group. Not that bad it's a good way to blow of steam from this life and believe in something in your own way. Even there, he didn't do stuff properly, is what I heard. He belongs to some part clan of the House Lannister(BTW I just changed my hostel's background to Lannister house just before typing this part).
Now he keeps telling me if he could change the past, like he had done wrong, not evil(to those guys, which he doesn't consider).
See people try to change decisions they had made,when they do not realize what they did. Some people don't know where they belong and join anywhere. I understand people think like that and can't change it, but they should atleast know their own faults, right, the wronged ones deserve to know.

I am still confused about Somya, and how her life be if I did break up with her. I used to like how she was as a friend but this dream I had tells me shitloads about how we are going to be. I read another somebodies blog and all it has is problems and celebrations.
And I figured my life has some weird shit going. I am sorry, I promised myself I wouldn't use vulgarities and or be open, to be true but fuck it.
This girl spends almost all day talking to my once best friend,but still friend, taking my spot
on the shotgun seat, even though she is my girlfriend she uhhs me first thing in the morning(maybe cause I ignored her before that), and oooh Shrey (▲) YOu know.. and start a long rant on football.
Between us we never talk about our emotions so I never get to open up. I know I am trying hard to like her, but she used to be my best friend and I want that back. It helped me concentrate when we would discuss things (from both sides of the conversation),  and I just found out she likes watching English football. Even I like it, fuck it I love the game, but who has the time to obsess over some idiots who turn a game into a something based on earning money. They play like monsters in the game,even though we know it's for the money. It's a fucking game assholes.
Off to watch anime.

First time

So I know the name sucks, but it kind of was what I was aiming for.
I'll start with who I am, a sixteen year old, just like more than three-quarters of the internet population. I live in India. And I have a dream just like every other teen in the world. You could say its like the dream Kira from Death note has except without any shinigami helping me. I have got something else entirely.
You see I am under this delusion that a Greek titan spends time in my body along with a Greek god. You could say I am a retard at this but the thing is I have convinced my self that this is true based on things that have happened to me in my short lifespan. And all of it makes sense. I'll tell you all about that later. It's not that important.
I thought I was gonna put a study on human psychology based on the experiences I have had. In fact I have a notebook where I write that stuff down. I might put that up later, but I'll only refer to it once in a while, cause I don't have it right now, and i intended to make a blog on that.
I believe in destiny, (the game looks amazing, not that I played it) and am trying not to rationalize the presence of it in this universe so I can blame something, and usually I get this super duper gut instinct feeling from it that points me in a direction where everything is good. I am all for placebo.
I have been dependent on this thing from as long as I can remember. But, since this blog is about what I do and why I do it, I'll get to it.
I have this seasonal change of behavior I'd like to write about. You see every time I consider something to be a fact it changes in any way, and I'd like to change this.
I tend to change my mind on social interactions every month or so. Sometimes I wanna be alone and sometimes I don't. The lonely periods are usually spent discovering myself. I guess everyone does that right? I, however, find things about myself that I don't enjoy thinking about, which is not that bad cause then I get to change my outlook on things. Then I decide that society isn't half that bad and renew relations with my friends. Since I live in a hostel, my parents don't know whats wrong with their son.
The reasons why I put society as a bad thing is different for every change in my personality, therefore I can't put those reasons up.

This guy I know, Felix, lives in the junior hostel but is senior to me, says that I shouldn't use logic to do things. How am I supposed to do that? Logic is what man is sure is correct, what else can I depend on to do things?
(I swear my English is much better in person, I don't use "do things" all the time)
This destiny thing tells me what to do through dreams usually, even though I use my mind (as my football coach says) I find a way to train my thoughts in the right direction to follow destiny's path.
I mean there are millions of reasons for doing just one thing right?
I wan't to break up with my girlfriend but destiny tells me she will do it herself. By destiny I mean the Greek god (not the titan) living in my body,only in this part. I think the gods have a way of putting their hand in the things that happen to be random in nature to do their bidding. I also believe that the gods are present in everyone in the form of the thoughts we think and it all changes according to the one who needs the gods attention. I don't mean me by that, I have seen them favor someone else too in reality, only place where I have the godly powers are in my dreams, but those dreams affect reality in some way or the other. But I don't mind that.